If My Dog Can Watch Me Pee, He Can Learn to Clean Up His Own Sh*t

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

By: Elisabeth O’Veal Minor

If My Pet Could Understand ONE Thing…

If I could make my pet understand just one thing in this whole wide world, it would be this:

GO. TO. THE. TOILET.

AND CLEAN UP YOUR OWN POOP.

That’s it. That’s the lesson. The sermon. The TED Talk.

Because listen… I love you. I feed you. I make sure you’re good. But why am I the one bending, scooping, gagging, and questioning my life choices while you stand there looking proud of yourself like you just accomplished something major?

You didn’t.

You just dropped a biohazard and walked away.

And don’t let it be early in the morning. Half awake. Barefoot. Stepping into a “surprise” that instantly ruins your whole mood. Now you mad, they confused, and everybody’s day is off.

Like… sir. Ma’am. You have watched me go to the bathroom my whole life. You sit there. You make eye contact. You wait. You’ve studied the process. So clearly, you understand what’s happening.

So why is the cleanup still MY responsibility?

At this point, I’m convinced pets think:

“That’s a human problem.”

Nah. We need a meeting. A contract. Some boundaries.

I’m not asking for much. I’m not asking you to pay rent. I’m not asking you to cook dinner. I’m just asking for toilet training with accountability. Flush, wipe, wash paws. Simple.

Because if I can handle my business like a responsible adult, you should be able to handle yours too. Growth is growth.

I love my pet… but if evolution could hurry this one little thing along, that would be great.

Respectfully. 😌🐾 LixxLoxx